I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
