You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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