so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
