Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
