are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I want to be your penis for a week.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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