Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
