i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
