You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize