Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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