As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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