hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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