I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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