Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Welp...herpes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
