SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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