Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize