There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
