She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
