Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
