no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
