Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize