people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
