it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
