I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
