how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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