while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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