i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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