my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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