It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
