well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
