the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
