Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this beer tastes like vomit already
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
