i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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