id be glad to
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize