Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
