I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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