We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
