I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
