Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this will be a night to untag.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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