Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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