every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
