Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
