I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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