just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
