Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
