First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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