Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
