Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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