maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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