Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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