just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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