We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
