where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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