Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
