I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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