Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
