everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize