Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
