it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Mom said you looked used
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize