Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
