he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
