already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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