You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
