i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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