We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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