Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
