So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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