At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
