3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
