Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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