Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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