i always forget guys have bellybuttons
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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