I hate your face
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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