bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
