I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
