whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
